Better Watch Out

I heard somewhere online that this movie was feminist or something. Maybe I just hallucinated that. Better Watch Out - I don’t actually know what I’m talking about most of the time but I swear I'm having one of those rare moments of clarity now. This movie sucked.

We got the little shit kid, Luke, who is absolutely infuriating. Credit to the actor, Levi Miller, cause I despised him, but that despise eventually bled into the other characters for how they dealt with this fucker. If I woke up to find the kid I was babysitting had restrained me to a chair and was pointing a gun at me, my reaction would be a whole hell of a lot different than what our lead girl Ashley does. And once more characters get dragged into this mess, they don’t respond much better.

I just couldn’t get into this movie at all, man. I was way too distracted by the bizarre house they live in. Why are the handles so fucking high up? And the doors are weirdly tall too? It looks like they’re playing in a life sized doll house or something. Maybe the whole thing takes place in one of Krampus’ snowglobes.

So yeah, that was basically the commentary between myself, my mom, my sister this whole movie. Just 3 adult women talking about how we’d beat the ever-living shit out of a creepy, horny 12 year old if he dared to point a gun at us. I mean, I definitely would’ve already been heated from the home invasion prank. If Ashley just beat the shit out of the little snot when she had the chance, or just grabbed the gun they were so lackadaisical with, then maybe Ricky would still have a head and Jeremy a neck. Ricky, you stupid bitch, why didn’t you just tip your chair backward???